blazingdead
Ala Atra Scans Member
Number of posts: 308
Reputation: 4
Registration date: 2009-08-14
Age: 17
Location: From whence the acid doth rain.
 |  Subject: Proofreading Test  Sun Aug 16, 2009 6:01 am | |
| | Spoiler: | | | 115-------------------------
Tale 61st
All Together
116-------------------------
117-------------------------
Ma: (Fufuh… | This kind of training…)
Ma: (If I put in my whole strength…) (This will be a cinch for me!!)
Ya: (That is the Ryuujin version of Aijutsu’s battle costume… | How do you put that under your miko out fit?)
Ma: (It’s a rule not to ask that.)
118------------------------
Rats: (Ahaha) (Hmph | So you’re serious now eh….)
Rats: (But can you see through our movements!?)
Ma: (There!!) Rats: (Chuu!!)
Ma: (Haa!!) Rat: (Jhuu!!) (Bhuu!!)
Animal: (You passed~~) Rat: (Congrats~) Ma: (Fuh, see.)
119------------------------
Ya: (I see, you have quite good eyes. | Then next) Bird: (Piyo) (Woof)
Ma: (Fufuh, no matter what your attack is, I’ll counter it back with my Akijutsu!) Bird: (Piyopiyo | Can you do it-piyo?)
Bird: (Then second austerity…) (Go woof!!)
Ma: (Heh?)
Bird: (Good afternoon, I am Machi[h]) Ma: (Wha!? My mimic!?)
120------------------------
Bird: (I’m a bit past my prime, 18 year old girl, late for her wedding) Ma: (Wha- | What did you say?) (Bash) Ma: (Wha!? | My card!?)
Ya: (This battle training is concentrated basic training.) (The first austerity is the “look through” austerity and the second is “mentality”. | If you get angry, the card will automatically turn bad.) Ma: (What!?)
Ya: (You have to chase those two while keeping your peace of mind and put the cards on them.)
Bird (I guess it can’t be helped if this kind old girl gets rejected by Ikuto-sama.) Ma: (Mph!) (Bash)
Ma: (Wait; you there!) (I’ll catch you right now!) Bird: (I am a glutton; I eat mildewed dumplings and rotten steamed buns as if it were nothing.) Ma: (Bash)
121-------------------------
Ya: (Let’s see… | A genius master who succeeded the youkai guard role of the island from when she was a child…) Bird: (My specialty is that I can write words using my nose.) [beak perhaps instead of nose?] Ma: (Who on earth can do that!?) (Bash)
Ya: (Prove to me that you are worthy to wear the color “red”…)
Ay: (I wonder how Onee-sama’s training is going right now…?)
Ay: (Well, its that Onee-sama that we’re talking about. | She’ll finish the training easily.) Ayma: (Hmmm, I wonder…)
Ayma: (With grandmother’s austerities, even Machi-san, the probability of success is low.) Ay: (Th, That can’t be!?)
Ayma: (If it was only a mere battle, maybe she wouldn’t have any problems…) (The training is done so that the trainee has to apply its “heart technique body”…)
122--------------------------
Ayma: (Machi-san | Her technique is maybe one of the best and she also has lots of talents, but on the contrary her mentality and stamina is…) Ay: (Ahh, she’s short tempered and has no perseverance, and hates doing everyday things that require effort like stamina strengthening training…)
Ayma: (On top of that, she can’t use her shikigamis…)
Ma: (I, I won’t)
Ma: (Lose!!) (Smile)
123--------------------------
Animal: (You’ve passed.) (Passed) Ya: (Fuh.) (You’ve nearly failed; your cards hurt a lot too.)
Ya: (If it continues like that…)
Ya: (It will be tough for you.) Monkey: (Ukyuu) [Third austerity, the second mental training, “you aren’t allowed to laugh”] Sheep: (Mee) Ma: (Uuph!!) (Bash)
[Fourth austerity, physical strength training; “marathon”] (Hihiiin) (Nyoro) [If she drops below a certain speed, the cards will become damaged.] (Bash)
124--------------------------
[Fifth austerity, third mental training; “control your passion”]
I: (Yahh, Machi, you’re also pretty today) Ma: (Ikuto-sama) (Bash) (Big crackers!) (Bash) [and…] Animal: (Passed) (Passed)
Ma: (Next is the last austerity…) Ya: (Yes, you’ve done well until now.)
Ya: (But…) (These two are tough, make sure you don’t drop your guard.)
Ya: (Sixth austerity…) (Technique austerity, fighting)
125--------------------------
Ma: (Oh well, that’s nice to hear.) (That is easier for me.)
Ya: (Fufuh, really?) Animal: (Mooo!!) (Gaooo)
Ma: (Kyaaa!? They’re fighting amongst themselves!!)
126--------------------------
Animal: (Ghamooo!!) Ma: (Wha!? | Unison transformation!?)
Ma: (I won’t fall…) (for such a bluff!!)
Ma: (Instead, I only have one opponent now; that would save me time…) (!?)
Animal: (Ghamooo!!) Ma: (Thi, This is!?)
127--------------------------
Animal: (Whoaaa!!) Ma: (Ouch!!)
Ya: (How was it to receive your own technique?) Ma: (So that just now was Ryuujin’s way of aikijutsu!?)
Ma: (And the technique’s handling is completely the same as mine!!) Animal: (Ghamoo) Ya: (Yes, this is Moojirou and Torazou’s special ability…)
Ya: (Only when they are united, they become able to mimic their opponent’s technique!!) Ma: (What!?)
128--------------------------
Ya: (And by the way, on this austerity’s training, the amount of damage will be proportional to the card’s damage.) (Bash) Ma: (Ugh…)
Ma: (I feel cornered now…) (But…)
Ma: (For all of my shikigami, I can’t afford to lose!!) Animal: (Moghaaa!)
Ma: (Even if its the same technique…)
Ma: (Its space of time until its put into motion…!!)
129--------------------------
Ma: (is decided by experience alone!!)
Animal: (Snare) (Ghamoo!!)
Ma: (Slop) (!?)
Ma: (Huh?)
130--------------------------
Animal: (Moghaaa!!) Ma: (This is impossible!!)
Animal: (Eat this!!) Ma: (UGAHH!!)
Ma: (Why is he stronger than me; we’re using the same aikijutsu…?) Ya: (I’ll tell you the reason; each of the “twelve gods” take charge of the twelve directions of protection. | Those two are in the northeast; they’re protecting the northeastern quarter.) (TL note: In the principle of Yin and Yang, northeast is regarded as the northeastern quarter/unlucky quarter, where it is said that devils enter/exit this world.)
131--------------------------
Ya: (They protect the part where many ill-omens drift in; you should know how strong they are.) [Clockwise/ourter to inside: [North – unlucky quarter (northeast) –East] [Birth – bind – move – conceal] [eight – seven – six – five] [Teiya – boya]](TL note: Teiya: the time last night about 1 PM – 3 PM; Boya: about 3 PM – 5 PM)
Ya: (They’re not simply mimicking the technique.) Ma: (That’s cheating.)
Ya: (But more importantly, look at your cards.) Ma: (Eh!?)
Ma: (bash) (bash) (bash | bash) Ma: (Aaah!! | Wait wait, stop!!)
Ya: (You received a lot of damage.) (It’ll be the same as trash if you take any more damage.)
Ya: (Spells, shikigami, and now even your aikijutsu is useless, and your stamina is near its limit…) (On top of that, you only have a few more minutes… left | The time has come.)
132--------------------------
Ya: (You should give up, and cancel your conctracts with your shikigami!) Ma: (!)
Ma: (I, I won’t! I still am not going to lose!!) Ya: (But…)
Ya: (If you lose, at that time your spirit energy will be completely drained, and your shikigami will perish from this world.)
Ya: (Besides…)
Ya: (Even if you have kind feelings toward your shikigami | For them, they’re only bound by the contract between master and servant.) Ma: (!) Ya: (If you were really thinking about them, you would release them from their pains immediately; that’s what you should do first, isn’t it?)
133--------------------------
Ma: (No. 1, no. 2, no. 3… | Teru teru macho…) (Gochirano… muramasa…)
Ma: (…) (Even if your relationships were that of master and servant… | I…)
Ma: (…)
Ma: (That’s right…) (I can’t let them perish just because of my complacency…)
Ma: (Good bye…) (All of you…)
134--------------------------
Ay: (Onee-sam still hasn’t finished yet!? We have no time left!!) Mon: (Kuaa)
Ay: (You should finish it like you always do Onee-sama!) Mon: (Kuaa) Ayma: (Ayane-san…)
Bara: (Wha- | What!?) Ayma: (Bara-sama!?)
Ayma: (Th, this is!?) Bara: (I don’t know, they were suddenly covered by light!!)
135--------------------------
Ay: (Uwaa!?) Ayma: (Kyaa!?)
Ayma: (What happened?) Ay: (O!! Okaa-sama!!)
Ay: (The shikigami are gone!!) Ayma: (!! That can’t be… Machi-san cancelled her conctracts!?)
Ya: (Ma… | Machi…)
[End]
*****************
Just some things I would like to express:
- In one instance, "slop" was used, (line 129) but without the picture its hard to determine whether this was a sound effect or supposed to be something that was said i.e. stop. I inferred it to be "slop" because it had no ending quotations attached to it.
- In a few cases, I found rewording the sentences a bit helped add clarity. I didn't know if you would prefer a more direct translation as opposed to one that is more easy to understand, so I changed it to be easier to understand.
Thank you for your time. |
Last edited by blazingdead on Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:41 am; edited 1 time in total |
|
syler
Ala Atra Scans Member
Number of posts: 1299
Reputation: 6
Registration date: 2008-10-13
Age: 20
Location: still sleeping. please dont disturb.
| | Subject: Re: Proofreading Test Sun Aug 16, 2009 8:19 pm | |
| oh new pr huh. introduce your self in welcome thread so you can welcome you there.  _________________  Behold my new sig made by Blkdrgn |
|
saheton
Ala Atra Scans Member
Number of posts: 381
Reputation: 4
Registration date: 2009-01-05
Age: 17
Location: at Genetics academy... planning to kill rana
| | Subject: Re: Proofreading Test Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:20 pm | |
| grats on getting into the team. look forward to working with you. _________________  Colonel Sanders FTW |
|
